I was all set to share a romantic tale tonight; a story of love between a girl and her Keurig machine. Instead, I’m going to deliver a bit of a public service announcement. I’d like to set the record straight on a few things and explain a little about why I started this blog and what I hope to accomplish through it.
Despite the fact that many of my posts seem to be rants about my life (isn’t that kind of what a blog is for?) and how much I hate my job, I am not an “unhappy” person. While there are days that I do I hate my job, there are others where something happens that kind of brings me back from the “I am so done with this crap” ledge. I am often frustrated with the fact that even after 10 years of service I don’t have much in the way of work accolades to show for the blood, sweat, and tears I’ve put in. Not really any different than how people stuck in civilian jobs often feel.
People have asked me why I don’t just quit and find something else to do. If only life were that simple. You can’t just put your two-week notice in and tell the military you’re done. I can choose not to re-enlist, but the longer you stay in, the harder it is to make that decision. That’s how they get you. Separating from the military isn’t like leaving a civilian job and moving to another one. For the last 10-years I’ve been told what to wear, how I can dress when I’m off-duty, and at certain points where I can eat and live. If you think it was bad leaving home and not having mom and dad to back you up multiply that by like fifty. I watched my husband struggle when he first got out, and we were married at the time, so there was an income to fall back on. I am the breadwinner, and I have a child now. Anything I do has to be carefully thought out and planned.
The military is hard. Being a woman in the military is hard. Being a wife, mother and a woman while in the military…hard. I am proud to support my family, even when things get me down. Are there days when I feel like no one appreciates what I do? Hell yeah. But that is something that’s experienced in every job. While I think it’s inherently important to like what you do, there are going to be good and bad days. How you get through the bad days, that’s what matters. Some people need a little more help than others. I’m not ashamed to admit that I am one of those people who need some extra help. I’ve been taking anti-anxiety medication and going to therapy since July. With that said, this brings me to my last and final point for the night.
I write not only because it is cathartic for me, but because I hope that my stories may help someone else. I want people to read what I have to say and laugh at the crazy shit my kid says, nod in agreement at something I say about my job, or share their own similar experiences and thoughts. Sometimes making a connection with someone else helps you to feel less alone in the world, and I think that’s a pretty important thing.
Want to keep up with me in real time between blogs? Now you can. MICB has their very own Facebook page! Feel free to come on over and like us. Hope to see you there.
Post song title/lyrics: “This is a Call” by the Foo Fighters